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The Rat who is made of Stainless Steel


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Polls
stainsteelrat
(Apologies for somewhat bad wording and lack of answers... not feeling all that inspired/imaginative)

Have you ever had a one way friendship where you're carrying the bulk of it?

Yes, loads
0(0.0%)
Yes, some
11(44.0%)
Yes, the odd one
11(44.0%)
No
3(12.0%)
I'll comment
0(0.0%)

What do you think causes a one way friendship?

Selfishness of said friend
12(28.6%)
Lack of interest of said friend
13(31.0%)
Self obsession of said friend
14(33.3%)
I'll comment
3(7.1%)

In the situation of a one way friendship, what's the best recourse?

Continue it
0(0.0%)
Tell the friend, and see what happens
5(22.7%)
Tell the friend, and break it off
1(4.5%)
Just break it off
10(45.5%)
I'll comment
6(27.3%)

What poll question would you ask about one way friendships?


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This is a bit, erm, one sided isn't it?

What do you think causes a one way friendship?
Selfishness of said friend
Lack of interest of said friend
Self obsession of said friend

Seems odd that there's no option for it to be the other party's fault, or more importantly, no one's fault.

I wasn't feeling particularly imaginative, and basing it on my experience, but the "I'll comment" option is always there :-)

I've had the worst luck with some friends in my past.

My boyfriend and I always organised stuff, mainly because no one else really did.

We had some friends that had issues with that, and when we asked them to contribute to stuff to do, they said no. So we stopped hanging out with them.

And we also had a lot of other friends that hardly ever invited us out to do things, while we landed up organising everything most of the time, and eventually we just stopped organising things with those people.

Needless to say, right now Chris and I don't have very many friends, mostly because we got sick and tired of being used without getting invites back...

I guess it just depends on how fed up you are / how much you need the friendship. :)

Either way, it still sucks! :(

There's definitely an aspect of how much you like the people vs. how much you'll put up with.

In the situation of a one way friendship, what's the best recourse? - Not break it off entirely but stop investing so much into the friendship so you can remain on friendly terms with the person without getting upset by their rubbishness, and perhaps pick things up when whatever is causing their rubbishness blows over.

I had a friendship that was very one sided and rather than it being done on purpose or through lack of interest it was simply that she didn't know how to interact.

Recently I've been talking to friends of hers from back when her and I were friends and they've all lost touch with her.

I kept the friendship going until it simply fizzled out, never made a formal end to it. I'm not one for putting formal ends to friendships nor relationships.

There are definitely people that simply just take, take, take and don't seem to notice. Call me a bad person, but some days I wish these folks would get some suitable karmic revenge, although losing their friends seems appropriate.

  • 1
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