The Stainless Steel Rat's LiveJournal

The Rat who is made of Stainless Steel


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stainsteelrat
Despite a bit of depressing reflection it was a better day today, and I felt more centred.

Amélie was up at 5:30am this morning, and it was one of those mornings where she wouldn't go back to sleep. Despite a 1am bedtime for me yesterday I stayed with her for most of the early shift. A friend of ours, Lucinda, came over with her son, Harry, around 10am. Lu headed off with her to the local toddler group, and came back about 12pm. I reheated some of the bolognese sauce, and cooked up a mountain of spaghetti - I thought Lucinda and Harry were staying for lunch. They weren't staying, so I ended up eating far more than I should have done. I was being pretty good about pasta until a couple of weeks ago, and had been weighing out the portions. The last couple of weeks I've been eyeballing it, and putting in way too much.

My weight still weighs heavy on my mind, no pun intended. I caught my reflection in the wardrobe mirror this evening, while with Amélie on the bed. I was a bit shocked, although I was hunched over and in the most unflattering position for my beer gut. My biggest worry is what other people think of me, as pretty much everyone judges overweight people. I do it, and I'm overweight, so clearly others will. Yet I love my food so damned much. If I could just do an hour of exercise every day, even an hour of walking.

Anyway, Amélie was asleep when she came back from the toddler group, and didn't wake up until 1:30pm (Lu had already left for work). I fed her some spaghetti bolognese and was amazed at how much she ate, she was eating pretty well for around 40 minutes. And after all that she had some grapes as well. We had a wonderful time having lunch together. I was making faces, and Amélie was making them back, and both of us were howling with laughter. I think she has been reactive to what we do for a long time, perhaps even since the first few weeks, but it really struck me today how grown up she has become, relatively speaking.

Aside from job hunting I spent the rest of the morning, afternoon, and evening playing Terraria, again. I got over my burnout and have progressed lots in the new large world. I managed to mine two meteorites, which was tedious to say the least. I also killed the second (of four?) bosses, on the third or fourth attempt. I wasn't quite sure what I do next, but having checked online with a Steam friend who's helping I need to either go into the underground of the jungle, or the dungeon (with another boss). That will probably have to wait until Tuesday.

In the midst of this, Lu came home around 6pm. I made a Creamy Chicken Risotto, although Amélie didn't eat much. Lu was understandably tired, so I spent some time watching music videos with Amélie and "dancing" (a mix of me throwing her up in the air, making her dance, her sitting on my knee and bouncing around, or her dancing by herself). I was absolutely knackered by the end of it, but it was lots of fun. Again Amélie was howling with laughter, and almost falling over because she was giggling so much. Then I gave her a bath, but she wouldn't sleep with a feed from Lu. A short while later though she was clearly very tired, so I took her to the cot and she fell asleep within 5 minutes.

I've already detailed the weekend plans, so don't have that to talk about. Looking forward to seeing Mum and Dad tomorrow, and we definitely need to go and see Nan. We also need to buy some plates, as ours are looking dreadful, partly due to microwaving what are probably not suitable. Sainsbury's had a box of four large plates, four small plates, and four bowls (all in white) in their basics range for £7.50. Seemed a bit too good to be true, so I'll double check the quality as much as I can. Failing that their individual plates etc. are half price at the moment.

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My biggest worry is what other people think of me, as pretty much everyone judges overweight people. I do it, and I'm overweight, so clearly others will.

Some others will, but not everyone.
If you tried Slimming World you could eat as much pasta as you like and still lose weight

Really? Surely it all counts as calories though?

I just need to cut back to a sensible amount of calories, coupled with regular strenuous exercise. I just can't motivate myself to do it though, despite all my griping :-(

calories count, not that a SW user has to worry about that, it is all about satiation value. Pasta is very filling, so although you ate shed loads of it, it is full of the right type of energy, and most importantly, it kept you full for a long time, releasing energy for a long time, which prevented you from eating high fat, low-satiation value.

It's complicated, but it works really, really well. I lost over 7 stone the first time I did it. I then put 5 of them back on again over the next 6 years (LOL) but I've lost just shy of 3½ of that, and I'm feeling great for it. Trouble is, I lose that, get to something I'm feeling far more comfortable at, then I relax ;0)

Yep, it's the lifestyle change that can be hard to enforce. I did a lot of exercise before and dropped my weight to 80kg, perhaps even less. But now I'm nudging 110kg, which is probably the heaviest I've ever been.

I just had to look it up, I'm 97kg at the moment, and I've been a lot more than this, this is practically THIN!

Brazil metric-ised me. And Lu always turns the scales back to kg, so I've given up with stones and pounds :-)

Maybe there's something to be said for not fighting your DNA?

although I don't know where my DNA came from, I'm the only fat one in my family (my mother's post chemo belly doesn't count)

My mum's side are all overweight, except for my mum curiously. My aunt is morbidly obese, and all are regularly on diets, losing several stones, which they then put back on again. I seem to mostly take after my mum's mum, but both my maternal grandparents seem to have weight issues.

You've heard about Slimmingworld, now here's my thoughts on WeightWatchers.

"It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle!". I feel it's more sustainable once you've lost the weight than any of the others because you don't have to cut any foods out. You learn to eat more sensibly and get lots of tips on substituting low fat foods for the high fat ones. And it gives you a separate weekly allowance for days where you're going out and are more likely to eat naughtier things. Matthew's on 54 Propoints a day and some days he struggles to eat that much!

And the recipes are tasty - I can send you some recipes, if you're interested.

And you can do it online but I do recommend going to a group as everyone's so supportive and it can be so much fun. We do actually have some male members at my group!

And you can eat as much fruit as you like.

As my leader says, it's more sustainable if you're only making small changes because they're easier to keep up.

Having sung the praises of WW though - we all have to find the thing that works for us. My friend has lost two stone on Slimfast, for example. I couldn't do Slimfast - it's not varied enough for me. So it's worth hunting round and finding something that you feel you can cope with because that is the surefire way to successful and healthy weight loss!

I'm not sure slimming clubs are for me, a bit like gyms. I pretty much know I need to cut my food intake and do more exercise, it's the doing it where I fail at the moment. Really it's just a case of self discipline, which is where I fail due to my hedonistic tendencies.

Perhaps a slimming club would be the difference in motivation though, but it'd have to be one where I go in person.

I've not done Slimfast, but I have crash dieted. And as we all know, that only works if you can then change lifestyle afterwards.

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