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The Rat who is made of Stainless Steel


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stainsteelrat
Another repetitive day. And another difficult night with Amélie. I suppose we're adjusting to it, but we probably shouldn't. In fact I'm sure we shouldn't.

I don't remember the morning. Did I sleep?

After lunch I did the usual job hunting then napped. I didn't get any website work done, and didn't go for a walk. Self discipline fail. I woke up late afternoon (although technically I woke up on and off all afternoon), had a shower, and cleaned up the kitchen. I prepared a fiorentina pizza the easy way, by putting spinach and an egg on a margherita pizza. It needed (a) more spinach and (b) extra mozzarella, plus I overcooked the egg (8 minutes or less next time).

I gave Amélie a bath, and then Lu put her to bed using the usual routine. Her spots have all scabbed over and are healing/fading, so she's much better than she was. She feels like a bit of sandpaper though, because her skin is so rough with the scabs. It's impossible to say yet whether they're going to heal up completely, on her face and her body, but they do look a lot better.

My headphones still haven't turned up, but having checked Amazon the estimated delivery was 28th - 1st. When they were posted on Monday why is it taking so long? I hope I don't lose yet another parcel to Fleet post office. This will be the third one. Damn Amazon again for not having a tracking option. Useless.

Amélie woke up at 10pm, so I thought it was a good time to restart the PUPD method... but it was a total failure. She was still sobbing her heart out after 15-20 minutes, and I gave in and took her to Lu. Previously she'd only cry for a minute or two, then sleep. Or at least just lie in the cot and be restless. This continuous crying is a new and horrible thing. She was throwing herself around the cot, and banging her head on the bars and headboard as well. I didn't know what else to do. I never would have thought this 18 months ago, but I still think cots are just an artificial construct we use to make life easier for us, the parents. I'm sure we can get a child to adapt to it, but is it fair? I feel very unhappy about the idea. I think it's progress in some ways, but not in others.

Up until 10pm I was mostly searching the National Trust site for places we haven't been, with a view to finding somewhere to go tomorrow. I widened the search though to include some non-National Trust places we've been meaning to go to, and even places we've been to before. I'm torn between Hever Castle (they've got jousting! But it's probably not very Amélie friendly, and it's £15 each for Lu and I) and The New Forest Wildlife Park (we've been before, and really loved it. £10 each for Lu and I, and Amélie will probably like it much more). I've confused myself sufficiently that I don't know what to do now. Lu doesn't have any preference.

I also scanned in a couple of boxes of CDs that Mum brought round, with a view to selling to Music Magpie. It turned out a fair few were copies, which I binned. Some were missing their CDs (I have a 200 CD jukebox which I need to check as it was full of CDs when I last used it), and some strangely didn't have barcodes. Some of those scanned in were worth as much as £3 each, and others as low as 30p, but it worked out on average around 80p for the 51 that actually had CDs and barcodes. I checked those worth £3 on eBay, but they were selling for similar amounts there anyway. I'll scan in enough to make 100, as that means I get free pick up. I will feel sad to let them go, but I keep trying to tell myself they're pointless material possessions that chances are I'll never need again. Surely it's better to sell them so someone gets some use out of them, versus dumping in landfill.

Not a great day. I'm still shaken up from Amélie's crying.

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you could find somewhere near Horsham to visit and call in to my party ;0)

If it were in the afternoon we'd be there. It's that problem of distance and baby :-(

I think you've probably gotten into a bad habit at night time. Amelie now knows 'If I keep crying, I will get fed.' so your options are really either tough it out and keep going until whenever she eventually does give up, and continue that stance for as long as it takes, or abandon the method.

Either way, 20 minutes of crying isn't doing anyone any good.

Yep, the difficulty is knowing whether Amélie is just trying it on or not. Leaving her for 20+ minutes crying is difficult, although Steve has intimated you just have to :-/

I don't think 'you just have to', I think it's the most time effective option. Finn is just starting to sleep through on a semi regular basis, but I have the luxury of not needing to get up for work so over the last 20 or so months of waking I've been able to take a softer approach.

I couldn't stomach crying, and it seems it only lasts until the next illness or growth spurt before you have to go through the ordeal again anyway.

The last few days would have seriously knackered me if I had to work as well. Fortunately both Lu and I have a bit more free time than the average person (well, I have a lot more!).

I think we'll just have to try the leaving-her-to-cry thing, and see what happens. Just as an experiment if nothing else.

I am in agreement with the previous commenter in that you've set up a pretty difficult precedence in how you've responded to her continual night time waking.

At this point, the only recommendation I have for you is to let her cry herself to sleep unless you never want to get a good night sleep again. It's heart-wrenching to do it but after a few nights of your not going in to pick her up and she'll eventually learn how to calm herself enough to go back to sleep and after that .. she'll be sleeping all night. I wouldn't even recommend this if I'd not been through it myself. I've spent many a night with my head leaned up against the door jam of the bedroom, keeping myself from entering in to the bedroom. It took an enormous amount of willpower. No one wants to hear their baby cry like that ...

How long was the longest you had to leave your kids?

Edited at 2011-07-30 08:04 pm (UTC)

The longest I've ever had to wait before the falling to sleep is 1 hour 15 minutes. Part of the crying was pure, unadulterated fury. I'm sure if full language had been developed, I would have heard every possible baby cuss word ever imagined. Flailing and thrashing is anger, a tantrum, if you will. Eventually the anger will be spent and you'll be left with an exhausted (and very tired) baby who will eventually fall to sleep.

I am not a child therapist, nor am I an expert; I just know what worked for me. And frankly, I wasn't about to let a baby be the boss of me. It wasn't easy. I'll go as far to say it's probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. But, it's been 5 years since I went through it and I've never, ever regretted it.

I wish you luck and do not envy you those sleepless nights caused by a strong-willed child.

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