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The Rat who is made of Stainless Steel


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stainsteelrat
What is really frustrating is that I know what is wrong with my life, but I don't seem to be able to do much about it. Aaaaaaaagh!


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I hear you dude, I really hear you on that one

OK, I'm glad it's not just me ;-)

Any idea why it is? Thoughts?

Well for me I think its that I'm afraid of change. I am comfortable with things that dont change, I hate it but I am comfortable with it.

Over the past couple of yrs I have made some major changes, changing my job to part time so I could go to university was a major one for me and scared me silly but I am glad I did it and I probably needed to do it. When your crying at the wheel of a big bus while driving around in central london has got to be a bad sign.

I still got some major changes that I may have to do in the next couple of months that are scaring me silly, got to find my own place to live or get the council to sort me out as I havent got the money to get my own place, not in london thats for damn sure.
Got to deal with family probs that have been haunting me and my mum for the last few yrs that may or may not come to a head next month or so.

But one thing that I have learnt over the past few months is that I have been honest, not with just other people but with myself which is pretty new to me and has had some very good results in the process.

So if any thoughts I can offer are probably just be honest, not just with others but with yourself, you could be surprised with the response you get for being honest.

If you have identified the root of a problem, and you have the power to change it to your will, do it.

If you have identified the root of a problem, and you do not have the power to change it to your will, you have to accept it and move on.

The real problem is when you have identified the root of a problem, and you have the power to change it to your will, but do not.

Yep, understood.

There's a difference between doing and wanting. And of course if we really want something we'll do it, within our power.

As an example, I have a naff social life at the moment. I can see the ingredients to overcome it, part of me obviously would like a better social life, but another part of me is either lazy or something. It just doesn't come together. There are plenty of other examples in my life that this part of me wants to change, but either never happen or occurs in dribs and drabs.

Very frustrating! :-(

Taking your example, having a naff social life, you don'y have direct tangible control over that. The only way you can change it is indirectly (IE making new friends, arranging things with existing friends etc.).

I believe in setting goals in life, both small and large. The smaller ones keep you going day to day, and the larger ones are more like 'dream' type goals that can stir the soul and motivate me.

Making friends is a difficult thing the older you get it seems (be prepared!). Due to a number of "conspiring circumstances" I have ended up with very few, and those I do have aren't really in my age group or even on a similar social level perhaps. This isn't a problem I can see an easy solution to :-(

There are other examples, like I need to find a job (ideally a better one than I had before), I need to lose weight, do some more exercise, but I'm not sure what prevents me or at least slows me down from achieving them. I wonder if it is some kind of internal conflict, where the "lazy" me wins mostly. As mentioned before, it can be very frustrating for my super-ego.

Maybe it will just take time to build up motivation, and I wish whoever it is that controls this shambolic mess would give me a break or two! :-)

Two years ago, in my first year of University, I'd never weight trained in my entire life, I smoked 20 Cigarettes a day and drank 6 - 10 pints of lager a night. Every night. My diet consisted of Kebabs and Cheeseburgers.

Then one day I decided that it was time to turn it around and now I have done. I packed in smoking, started eating more healthily and started an exercise routine. The motivation came from within me. No-one else played a part in my motivation. I firmly believe that with the will to succeed anyone can achieve what I have achieved, and things that far surpass my current level of achievement.

I wish whoever it is that controls this shambolic mess would give me a break or two! :-)

I realise that this statement is intended as a joke, but I like to think that no matter how shambolic my mess is, I'm in control of it. There is no superior being pulling celestrial strings determining my future. I decide my future, as do you for yours.

Yes, I guess sometimes you just wake up one day and decide "it all has to change". Funny how motivation to make big changes can occur in a finger snap. Perhaps I'm just building up to that.

I'm no religious freak (you may have guessed). But the agnostic in me hopes there might be some point to it all :-)

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