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The Rat who is made of Stainless Steel

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Random Thoughts on Depression
Beware My Cloak of Depression
"Depression... misery without reason?"

Depression sucks. It really sucks. It's a curse. Of course I would say that, I'm feeling depressed.

The thing I had a semi-epiphay about today - if you can call the bleedin' obvious an epiphany - is that depression seems to start without a clear cause. Everything can be fine, and "wham" suddenly it's not. Although IME it's less "wham" and more a slow build up. Perhaps that's oversimplifying, as people can be depressed after a grievance or relationship break up, for example. Or perhaps more to the point, there are two types of depression: that caused by a serious event, and that which I'm describing above.

The NHS way of dealing with it is the assumption that it has a source; "normally we're all lovely happy human beings", and depression must have some environmental cause, or perhaps even an inner cause due to the way of thinking. Hence we shove a few pills your way, and you might get some less than brilliant counselling a few months late, job done! Although how many people relapse some months/years later? Most I suspect, or at least those where it's not causal.

It must be very frustrating for those on the outside of it, a depressed person is tedious to deal with and hardly fun to be around. The depression person as well is frustrated, but tends to be stuck inside it and not particularly outward looking. Depression is certainly a relationship and friendship killer. Somewhat ironically relationships/friendships can really help with depression.

I'm not sure there is some founding cause. Perhaps low self esteem etc. are symptoms of depression, rather than the other way around.

That's it for now.

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I think I half agree with you and half agree with the NHS, I think that there might not be one trigger, but possibly lots and lots of tiny - almost imperceptible in some cases - things which build up. I didn't even realise I had depression. I went a bit mental for about 2 months at the end of 2003, had a complete breakdown on Christmas day and then took years to climb my way out of it. I have to say that my doctor was fantastic, my NHS counsellor was fantastic, my boss was fantastic (supportive and had free time off for the counselling) and my friends were fantastic. Unfortunately my psychiatrist was useless and my husband was a useful and sympathetic as a brick.

If you're predisposed though I wonder if there simply is no reason, it just happens - like flicking a switch, where everything becomes negative.

sounds a possibility to me

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