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The Rat who is made of Stainless Steel

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Been to see X-Men 2. Was OK. Some bits were done well, but the film felt poorly edited and disjointed. By a curious coincidence Barry and Jo were also at the cinema watching the same film.

Feeling very hacked off for some reason. It might be post cabin fever from the last few days, lack of sleep, and/or 101 other things. Terry also seemed out of sorts tonight, but maybe it was me. I guess we're not close friends any more, at least that was the way it felt. It suddenly hit me that other than my sister I don't really have a best friend, or even anything approaching that.

I feel like I need a vacation from this planet...

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I knew there was a reason for the "Space Station"!

Imagine this: they start letting everyone on this planet have a four-day pass to stay up on the Space Station, if they need a "planet break"... the only catch is you have to pay for all the petrol yourself. ;)

At least the sentence reads, "other than my sister" and doesn't start with "I don't really have a best friend..." You may not always have a best friend, but you *will* always have your sister. That's a great thing, especially if you're close.

Re: I knew there was a reason for the "Space Station"!

Thanks for commenting to a miserable sod. I think I'd pay anything at the moment just to get off the planet, petrol included.

I am very very tired of feeling like I am maintaining a positive attitude. That feeling of it wearing thin. I help people out all the time, do the good things, and it may be heartless but I would just like someone to help *me* out for a change (other than myself). I'm mostly tired of having no close friends, it's just suddenly got to me, like flipping a switch :-(

I'm not feeling too friendly about my own friends at the moment either.

My friend Mary, on the advice of her therapist, went through a "selfish" phase. Personally, I thought that was a horrible idea... what would happen if the whole world were going through a selfish phase?? (Seems to me they are most of the time anyway!)

I think all you can to is be true to yourself. Don't bend over backwards for people - only give as much to them as you can stand. And never fake it - if someone pisses you off, tell them! Maybe they don't realize it. Maybe. ;)

A selfish phase? Weird. I did discuss some friendships that concerned me with my therapist, and although she's very rarely judgemental she did say that the friends in question sounded very selfish. I've since dumped a couple of friends, which felt weird to do, but ultimately hasn't really hurt me. I'm very poor at letting people go, either because I'm too easy going, desperate, clingy, or something.

I agree the world is getting more selfish. Everyone seems to be retreating into their defensible little "castles". Along with an overall reduction in tolerance for others, whilst painting a veneer of over-the-top friendliness for those who fit in. It would be amusing if it weren't so sad.

As you say, I try to be true to myself but it reaches points where it gets very wearing. And you're also right that I should give people better "feedback" when they annoy me, something my therapist said as well. Not that anyone has specifically annoyed me this time (I think)...

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