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The Rat who is made of Stainless Steel

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BB Piano
Just the usual boring stuff about Amélie's sleep patterns. She came home from nursery in a foul mood yesterday and slept within a few minutes i.e. around 6-6:30pm. This did not bode well for the night, and I think she woke up early a couple of times, properly surfacing around 6am, so it could have been worse. I was absolutely shattered though. Amélie then had an hour long nap in the morning, while Lu popped out to the supermarket. Both Amélie and Lu headed off at their usual time of 1pm.

The afternoon was spent job hunting, and I also spread some combination weedkiller/mosskiller/fertiliser on the lawn. If it doesn't rain tomorrow I'll have to run the sprinkler to make sure it's taken into the ground. Amélie will have to stay off the grass until Saturday.

I had a couple of phone calls with Mum about the continued money/employment situation. She thinks I should keep the car, so we may well go for that option. My feeling is that we'll need to activate the plan from November onwards, as I've got enough money to survive until then, without being bled completely dry. Chances are I'll need some money for basic things like servicing the car. All sorts of things are upsetting me, like how will I be able to afford birthday and Christmas presents for Amélie and Lu? Will we just have to stop buying presents for each other?

Lu and Amélie came home just after 6pm. Amélie was really bad, full of cold, and crying continuously. She only ate a tiny bit of dinner at the first attempt, and after 20-30 minutes she eventually calmed down. I took her up for a bath, and when back downstairs she was a lot calmer. She was still awake at 8pm when I went up for the usual Wednesday gaming.

The gaming was good, but perhaps not as satisfying as Left4Dead 2 (we played Team Fortress 2 this week as it has gone free-to-play).

I felt grim to varying degrees throughout the day. The money/employment situation is always at the back of my mind now, inevitably. I just don't know what to do, other than carry on hunting for jobs. I can feel the fun being sucked out of everything, and also that I don't deserve to have fun until this is resolved, if it can be resolved.