So it was another sleepless night, partly due to Amélie, and partly due to the news of the riots. Amélie first fell asleep around 9:30pm, inevitably because she slept so much during the day (her sleep total from the previous night, including naps during the day, was 17 hours). I couldn't sleep at a sensible time, which was fairly amazing based on how little sleep I'd had Sunday night, along with zero naps during Monday. I'm not sure whether I'm just hopped up on stress, or what it is. I'm beginning to wonder if a lot of my stress is subconscious, although that doesn't make a lot of sense. Eventually I went to bed around 1am, having watched the riots on the news (in utter despair at the stupidity of a youth minority). Lu woke up when I was getting into bed so I told her about them, and then we both ended up watching them (mostly in horror) for another hour or so on Sky News.
Amélie woke up at least once during the wee hours, and Lu fed her, and then she woke up fully at 6am. I forget exactly who was with her from 6am, which suggests it was probably Lu, but I know I was with her at some point before 8am because I gave her breakfast. Her cuteness is irresistible. When I get my breakfast (mine is often before 8am, but we always keep hers around 8:30am to keep her on a regular schedule) she always wants me to pick her up so she can watch what I'm doing. If I don't pick her up it's a full on tantrum. I explain all the steps while making breakfast - not many when making bread and jam - and she seems fascinated. Spreading butter while holding a toddler is near impossible, but somehow I've figured out how to do it. She then tends to avail herself of a few bites of my bread and jam as well. Food for her is always *much* more interesting when someone else is eating it, understandably. In fact you can see how happy she is in her body language when "drive by eating".
Nothing of note happened during the morning, at least that I can remember. We must have just mooched round the house as per usual. I know Amélie went down for a nap, but woke up after just a few minutes, weirdly. Her sleep total for last night and naps today is 9 hours, the lowest she's had since "records began" (when I started keeping the spreadsheet on the 5th of July). With such an epic amount of sleep yesterday (the most since records began) it's not surprising.
I crashed when Lu and Amélie left, which was stupid, but I was feeling really tired. Part of me thinks I just need to go with what my body wants, but another part thinks I need to keep a regular sensible sleeping schedule for both myself and everyone else in the house. I've been trying to do the latter though for 6 months, and it hasn't worked, so I'm not going to beat myself up about it. This is part of the problem of not having a regular job to keep you on a fixed schedule, not that I'm saying it's a major problem.
I woke up just before 5pm and continued with the job hunting - the job hunting just doesn't stop at the moment, and can happen at any time I'm awake. In fact I prefer job hunting late at night, as I'm much more with it. It was slim pickings again, and I had a couple of hours of strong despair, which fortunately has subsided. I suspect the despair was triggered by doing some accounts, and realising it's not long to go before the redundancy money runs out. That means taking Mum and Dad up on their offer from November, and I hate hate hate having to do that. If there was any other sensible alternative I would take it. I was even thinking again about moving back to Brazil, but that means being in a place I don't want to be, and then neither Lu or I have jobs! I don't think that falls into the category of sensible.
Anyway, now I'm compiling more of my CDs for the theoretical sale via Music Magpie. Mum brought some more boxes around yesterday, but so far it appears to be just game CDs/DVDs, rather than music CDs. I don't know what to do with game CDs. There are some gems that I want to keep, but do I just throw the rest away? I think I'll have to. Again, it's a question of storing things that I know I will never use. It's the same deal with the music CDs. Chances are I know I will never need them*, but I feel a pang of sadness selling them, partly because it's at 10% of their original value.
*I have a tiny concern though that the MP3 standard will get replaced by something better, and then everyone will rip their CDs again. Assuming that MP3s haven't been replaced by cloud music.
I still need to go through my spare room cupboard like a dose of salts, and get rid of all the junk that's there. That includes a 200 CD jukebox (if I can find the remote) and a VHS player. I doubt anyone will want the latter, but perhaps someone will want the former, even if it's just for free, and assuming it still works. I need to power it up to remove the final CD that's still in the mechanism (< mental note). There's also a busted remote control helicopter there, and a bunch of other things that will probably just have to be chucked.
And that's pretty much it for today, bar some TV watching and more CD scanning until I'm tired enough for bed. I feel that these entries are just a barrage of melancholy at the moment, but I would rather it's a real reflection of how I feel than pretending to be optimistic and wonderfully happy. The reality is that there are lots of happy, sad, and neutral moments during my day, so LiveJournal is never a mirror-like reflection of what's going on anyway.