The Stainless Steel Rat (stainsteelrat) wrote,
The Stainless Steel Rat

Hmmm, I was thinking a change in strategy is required with Lu, but then I realised this is the same way I've been behaving up until now anyway. I'm going to carry on being positive and loving when I talk to her, as this seems the common sense approach and this is pretty much how I feel (I don't feel particularly positive, but anyway...). What worries me is that a lot of the "life" and happiness has dropped out of her conversation, but I need to remember she's at work and maybe other things are on her mind. I need to try and wait until the weekend to see if things change, and perhaps discuss if there is a problem.

I guess it's strange that I seem to worry about things, when I have no concrete evidence to support these worries, just lots of inference and paranoia. I know that there is distance in the relationship, but I'm not sure this is the issue. Things were fine before so meeting Lu has had some profound effect. Certainly I miss her in a different way now, but still...

I can't stress enough what a profoundly bad effect this is having on me at the moment. I feel perpetually stressed and sad. It's stupid, but it's the truth.
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