The Stainless Steel Rat (stainsteelrat) wrote,
The Stainless Steel Rat

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Hooray, I ordered my Deckard coat! Hooray!:o) Gonna take 2 months + though before they even make it. Boo! :o(

Sent an e-mail to Barry about relationships (we talked about it some at lunchtime).

This really covers what I think very well:

"On the relationships topic ....

What I kinda was trying to say earlier but didn't quite manage, is that I am really after someone emotionally compatible and reasonably good looking (especially brunette .... not that I'm fussy ;o) .... Despite all this though, if someone doesn't want to *try* in a relationship what on earth can you do? All seems really sad to me.

As I say, I know I need emotional compatibility, someone intellectual, deep, very caring/devoted (to a point). I know Marian was probably none of these.

I was toying with the idea of just giving up on relationships all together. I can see myself being so frightened now of losing someone, that at the end of the day that just scares people off. This is kinda based on my recent relationship history, and also happened to some degree with Marian.

Problem is that I'm still a victim of my hormones, but the scariness of going through the whole "Marian" debacle again is too much to contemplate.

But then I want a family. Kinda inescapable really. And if I don't have a family, then what is my purpose on earth? ...

Sorry, had to get all that of my chest :o)"
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